The title says it all! Opinions expressed here are those of the authors. Personal tastes may vary, and we are cool with that.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

CD Review: Metallica and Lou Reed's Lulu

Oh boy...... where do I begin? *Facepalm*

Metallica is one of my favorite bands, but what the hell is this crap? Metallica decided that they wanted to do something a little different by producing a concept album with another artist. Lulu is based on a series of two plays (Earth Spirit and Pandora's Box) by Frank Wedekind, a playwright who lived in the late 19th, early 20th centuries. They decided to record the album with Lou Reed, an old experimental rock musician who honestly has no business doing anything with a group like Metallica! This collaboration would be nothing more than a big mess, like mixing water and oil, and that is exactly what happened on Lulu.

Musically, the album is just pure noise! It sounds like Metallica came up with a bunch of rushed metal riffs and gave it to Lou Reed for him to make shitty songs. Metallica on this album sounds generic and boring, almost like the equivalence of nails on a chalkboard for metal listeners! But of course the worst part of this project are Lou Reed's vocals! He doesn't sing, instead he simply talks over the music and it sounds terrible and out of key. Everything just sounds so annoying on this album! Even some of the lyrics are laughable. In their single, "The View", James Hetfield sings lyrics such as "I am the Table", which has now become a big Internet meme as of late! Actually, I find that line pretty humorous myself and it seems that people are now calling James "The Table"! Unreal!

For a concept album, this was extremely horrible, awkward and poorly executed! It's one thing to try to be original, but please make it at least listenable! Why did Metallica sign up for this? What was the reason for creating this horrible album? Why would Metallica release this garbage after releasing a fairly decent album in Death Magnetic? What were they thinking?? Normally, I would do a song by song review, but this album was so bad that it did not deserve that! I would honestly rate this among the top 10 worst albums of all time! Seriously, it is THAT BAD! I have been looking for an album to give 0 stars and a DOUBLE horns down for, and that is exactly what this album deserves! /w\ /w\ Absolutely horrible! Do not buy or even listen to this, and this is coming from a long time Metallica fan! Metallica is going to have to do something really amazing in the future to make up for this garbage!

I am honestly ashamed to be a Metallica fan after listening to this..

Rating: 0/5 Abomination!

3 comments:

Eric James said...

One more thing: to quote Lars Ulrich: "In 1984, when hard-core Metallica fans heard acoustic guitars on Fade to Black, there was a nuclear meltdown in the heavy-metal community,"

It wasn't the heaviest song, but at least it was good sounding MUSIC, not an old man giving out a narration throughout the whole album with generic metal riffs! Geez.. An experiment that completely failed!

CanuckFan said...

Jeez, Eric, tell us how you REALLY feel! LOL!

Eric James said...

@ CanuckFan

Yeah, I was a little pissed on this one mainly because of how horrible it was. I am usually pretty calm on my reviews, but this album was just so bad that I could not contain myself. Most people would agree too that this was a failed experiment and I am afraid that it would only worsen Metallica's image even more than it already is.